Your Unhappiness Stems from a Misunderstanding of the Nature of Education

Being a Parent is the Hardest Job in the World

Before important exams like the middle school and college entrance exams, we undergo countless mock tests. Before entering the workforce, there is vocational education and training, internships, and on-the-job training. Even before becoming a couple, there's a stage of dating to self-assess whether one is a suitable partner. However, before becoming a parent for the first time, society doesn't provide any specific training.


A recent survey revealed that over 60% of Chinese parents feel a great deal of pressure in raising their children, particularly in educational matters. As new parents, we face differences in parenting philosophies compared to the previous generation. For instance, whether we should expose our children to new phenomena like AI technology is a question we can no longer consult with our parents about (if you're interested in discussing whether children should be exposed to AI, please leave a comment, and I'll see if it's worth elaborating on). This creates difficulties in our educational decision-making.


The past year has been a gap year in my career, and my daughter's education has reached a significant turning point. I spent a lot of time focusing on child education, which made me realize that outdated educational concepts can limit a child's development. As parents, we need to constantly update our educational philosophies to keep pace with the ever-changing world. We should focus not only on our children's academic achievements but also on their emotional development, creativity cultivation, and adaptability to new things. Only then can we better prepare them to face future challenges.


Regrettably, in many cases, it's precisely the parents' misunderstandings about education, and even they themselves have been influenced by (what is now seen as) erroneous educational philosophies all their lives. The biggest misconception is not understanding that the essence of public education is "indoctrination," yet they aspire to have their children receive a higher level of public education to become "superior individuals."


Why the Children of the Wealthy Don't Attend Public Schools

Most people have heard the saying "free is the most expensive," but few ponder its economic logic. Let me tell a story: Imagine two roads from point A to B – one is a highway, spacious and fast, and the other a bumpy, slow mountain road. Given a choice, naturally, you'd pick the highway. As more people choose it, it becomes congested. Eventually, the highway and the mountain road are equally slow. In 1924, a professor at the University of Chicago, Knight, stated that if the highway had an owner, they would charge a fee to manage congestion effectively, ultimately achieving a balance between the toll cost and travel efficiency, thereby maximizing its social value.


After this story, let's make some assumptions:

1. Assume that people with more family assets have a higher average understanding of the world than ordinary people.

2. Assume that wealthy families consume as rationally as ordinary people.

3. Assume that wealthy families value education as much as ordinary people.

We also acknowledge these facts:

1. Today, most countries offer free/low-cost public education, alongside expensive private/international schools.

2. Among the wealthy, a higher proportion of their children attend private/international schools than public schools.


It's easy to understand why ordinary people's children don't go to private/international schools – lack of funds. But conversely, why don't those with a higher level of awareness send their children to the more "cost-effective" public schools? Could it be because "free is the most expensive"? Let's continue with this question in mind.

The Essence of Free Education is the Unification of Values

Today, most countries offer free education. Why? Because free education allows more people to be educated and integrated into the production process, becoming effective cogs and screws in the machinery of society.

So, what makes an excellent screw? We can easily list the following requirements:
- Stability and Durability: The screw must withstand long-term use while maintaining structural stability, able to sustain efficiency and quality under prolonged pressure without being easily swayed by external factors.
- Standardization and Consistency**: The screw must meet standardization, ensuring work consistency and high quality, and be quickly replaced if damaged.
- Specialization and Skills**: The screw should have specific tasks and requirements, capable of efficiently completing tasks and KPIs according to standard procedures.

Observing the education systems of different countries from a historical perspective, we find significant differences across eras. Before the Western Industrial Revolution, education was essentially a service for the top tier of a society. However, after the Industrial Revolution, education became accessible to all, no longer limited to the social elite. This shift wasn't due to capitalists' benevolence in implementing welfare systems, but from the need to transform idle peasants into industrial labor, making them effective parts of the societal machine.

So, do you understand now? The spread of education is to integrate more idle labor into society, playing the role of screws in the post-industrial society. This is the very essence of free education. It is also for this reason that everyone's educational journey is a continuous process of being "brainwashed." Schools constantly tell us what is right and wrong, setting standards for model students. This phenomenon is especially evident among those of us who grew up in mainland China during the 80s and 90s, where schools always emphasized the role models and top students we should emulate. In this process, our understanding of "what is good" is reinforced, thus achieving the transformation of standardization and consistency.

Having discussed that the essence of free education is to reinforce a nation's unified values, what then are the real issues it presents? Or to put it another way, aside from professional and skill improvement, what else are our children missing in free education?

The Two Major Deficiencies in Education

Derek Bok, former President of Harvard University, pointed out: "Our education system has two significant deficiencies. Firstly, we lack teaching students how to effectively use money as a tool. More critically, there is a severe shortage in education about happiness, leaving students unprepared for pursuing joy and satisfaction in life." I believe these are the biggest issues in modern education.

In the current education system, understanding and education about money are often overlooked or mishandled. We frequently learn in school how to earn money, but rarely how to use and manage it wisely. This oversight stems from the widespread belief that financial management is a personal or family responsibility, not part of school education. However, this view ignores the fact that many families also lack proper knowledge and skills in money management.

The consequences of lacking education on money use are severe. For example, in the United States, many young people fall into credit card debt due to a lack of financial knowledge. They misuse credit cards without fully understanding interest rates and credit scores, leading to financial troubles. Stories of NBA players earning millions annually but going bankrupt within five years of retirement are not uncommon.

Another critical deficiency is the lack of education on happiness. In modern society, happiness is often closely tied to material wealth and social status, overlooking mental health and personal fulfillment. There are few courses in the education system that teach students how to face life's challenges, build positive interpersonal relationships, and develop self-awareness and emotional management skills.

For instance, studies show that even in economically advanced countries, people's happiness has not increased with the improvement of material living standards. This indicates that material wealth alone cannot bring lasting happiness. In contrast, those who learn gratitude, build healthy social relationships, and balance work and life are often happier.

Therefore, having the right perception of happiness is crucial. Education should cultivate students' inner awareness, teaching them to realize that happiness is not just about external success and achievements but also comes from internal satisfaction and peace. Schools should offer courses on emotional management, mental health, interpersonal skills, and how to practice gratitude and mindfulness in daily life.

In summary, as new parents, we inherently lack in educating our children, compounded by the absence of postnatal training. The essence of modern education is merely to reinforce a nation's unified values, training screws needed by the societal machine, resulting in a severe lack of "financial education" and "happiness education" in the education of the next generation.

As for how to properly educate our children about money and happiness, that will be a topic for another article.

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